Old habits... They tend to die really hard...

I've since i arrived at Bornholm, been looking for abandoned houses... But they're apparently hiding for me... I mean... People are pretty much leaving Bornholm, or dying (which is a shame by the way...) But there's not a lot of abandoned houses over here... I think i've found one... And i've heard of another... 

But i still wanted to do some light painting again... So i had to come up with a new idea... Light painting on old fisherman "houses", and small old factories... 

I found some places in "snogebæk" (that's the name of the city where i live for now)... And i brought my old faithful

I've been using that flash for all the abandoned houses i've photographed... Of course i was using that one again, and not the new and fancy one i bought after almost destroying this one... (It's a matter of rituals and luck ;) )

Imagine me on a bike with all that on my back... I really had some problems with my balance, due to the extra height... And then because it's cold outside, i was also wearing my old "hjem-is" jacket... (It's a good jacket... Nice and warm, got it from my old work place... No need to buy new, when the old is working perfectly... More money to spend on photography!)

This was actually nice... Didn't feel that much alone, didn't hear or feel "monsters" creeping in the dark... If this turns out well, i might do something like that again...

Well... This was me taking a step back... Trying something i'm actually good at, and trying to sort of do it in another way... Haven't had time to edit yet (diner was at 22:40)... And after a long day i just relaxed and watched an old danish movie: "Olsen Banden i Jylland"... Because i wanted to be reminded of home... And it's funny as.....! 

Oh, and this is me when looking for abandoned houses, when i get the right address but my GPS fucks it up (It's an inner fight, part of me wants to go home, and another won't give up) :


Sorry clip is in danish ;)...

The week from hell

All week i've been a nerve wreck... New print packing software wasn't configured, and we're in the middle of school photography season... Now if anybody says it's easy to do school photography... I'm gonna kill you... Slowly...  

Because of that, i've had to set other projects on pause...

Most people say i work too hard... But when i get an assignment... I really want to be the best... I'm afraid that i'm not good enough, and i really want to show the world that i'm what i say i am... I fear people think i'm lying... I wan't challenges, but i fear if i screw up people wont trust me when i say I can...

I want to be the best so bad, that i'm hurting myself sometimes... I fear yelling, and people being disappointed with me... Sometimes i focus so much on not being a "screw up", that i become clumsy... I seek recognition... But when i get it... I sometimes end up thinking i'm better than i am... Life is so tough sometimes... I gotta figure this one out sometime... 

But this is why i'm working overtime not getting paid, this is why i push myself to the limit... I want the impossible... I want to create the one picture that changes the world... The one that ends all misery... The one that ends all wars... BUT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE... IT CAN'T BE DONE!! But still... I have to try... 

I'm poision to myself sometimes... But then again, aren't we all sometimes?

Ohhh... My 22 year old bag...

WTF happened... I came home Thursday 4:30am... Slept one night in my soft and cosy bed... And then bam 16:00 my back says fuck you, you treated me nice now i'm just gonna hurt for the rest of your life... Pain killers, heat lotion... Please i'm really pissed of those things dosen't work... Stronger pain killers... HA! I still hurt...

Oh it's Friday now birthday celebration part 1. Well don't think you can sit down or pick something up without me hurting... And that's a lot of usefull presents that you're gonna have to bring with you to Bornholm. MWUHAHA... MWUHAHAHAHAHA... 

Saturday... Surprise visit and celebration part 2... More presents to bring with you to Bornholm... Did you say public transportation? MWUHAHAHA... 

Sunday... Traveling day AKA HELL! Biiig heavy suitcase... Not that nice DSB personal, "you'll have to put that heavy suitcase up there... Or a place where you can't see it... I'm sorry i can't pass with this wagon..." And then he walks right past me... And i'm like: "But you just... bu... MY BAG HURTS!" Now luckily i met some nice strong men who could help me with my bag... Oh thank you my prince... Yeah right... They were nice, and they helped... But i'm not gay... sooo... 

Unfortunatly after changing in Copenhagen i had to put my bag up again... And i tried doing it myself first... Some funny noises came from my bag... And now... Now i fear sleeping on my hard bed on Bornholm again... 

So... My back hurts, maybe i should sleep, and lookup a chiropractor tomorrow or something... Best idea ever...

Now, i really enjoyed 4 days home again, with mom, little brother, little sister, Bailey (my beloved one and only dog), my grandmother, and the rest of the family... They never disappoint when it comes to celebration... Because... Well they're the best... I love em all... And i already miss them.