Funny customers, and busy, busy, busy little me...

Ha! This is one of those without pictures...

Yesterday i had this nice old lady as a customer, and she told me that on Bornholm they had these kind of special cakes called "øretæver" which directly translated means "earbeatings", and it's an old danish word for beatings... 

But if i didn't take good care of her memory stick she would give me "øretæver"... Today she came back for the pictures i'd printed for her, and two CD's which i had forgotten all about... (Oups) And she was carrying this white box from the baker store... And she asked: "Do you remember what we talked about yesterday?" I of course replied: "Yes..." And then she put the box on the counter "I have some "øretæver" for you"... And when i saw the cakes we both laughed... I'm kinda sad i didn't have anything for her, and i'd actually forgotten about her CD's... So i had to apologize to her... And make the CD's at once... But she didn't mind. What a nice lady, i really hope to see her again... That saved my day... I love helping people with what ever's wrong with their camera... It brings a smile to my face when i see a happy customer... (No shit)

Responsibilities... 

When boss is not at the store, my responsibilities grows... So does my co workers responsibilities also... And we share most of all the responsibilities... But when it comes to computers and photography that's my headache... New programs for computer, stuff we need to figure out, and assignments that come in late... Well i had dinner at 11pm tonight... But that's what they call normal for photographers... Could i just had left at 5:30 where my day ends? Yes... But i never leave when i have a job that's not finished, and needs to be... And that's stressing, and bad for your health... I had planned to have spareribs... But instead i'm sitting here with the leftovers from a frozen pizza...

BUT i've LEARNED so much, and i've found out about myself that despite my physical deficiencies, and me not being able to learn fast... I've sort a grown tired of excuses to why i can't do stuff. And instead i say: "This has ruined me before, made me into a "loser" this is what i'm recovering from..." Instead of saying i can't because i'm not strong enough, good enough, smart enough... I'm now saying then i'll have to become: Strong enough, smart enough... And i'm good enough"... You get nothing from not trying! And that's why when you're down, and feel like you're in a hole, you have to "grow a pair" and stop feeling sorry for yourself... And start climbing... In fact:   

And if you can't "get out the door", then ask a good friend to help you... But not me, i'm busy ;)... Naah just kidding 

When simple photography light knowledge can be used for other things than photography...

Now this might sound silly... But i'm actually a little afraid of the dark... Mostly because i'm cursed/blessed with a pretty vivid imagination. Which with just one wrong thought in the wrong conditions can leave me sleepless for a loong time... What kind of thoughts then? Well... If i see something unidentifiable in the dark, my head starts spinning... And then it just comes: "What if it was a werewolf? Yees they murder people, and makes it look like an animal attack..." Now, this is where common sense kicks in: "They don't exist." But the "what if is still in there"... And from here on my head is just one battle zone...

So if i can, i need to turn on some light, or else it can do some serious messing with my head... And sometimes it happens that the actual thought: "Let's think about shipwrecks, or sharks..." (My 2 biggest fears)... Need light to kick out of that... 

Which is why when the bulb for my "night stand lamp" shorted like bulbs do... I had to come up with a new "light system", and all i had was a flashlight... And i created this much light with it:

How? Well a flashlight delivers a concentrated beam of light... So it needs to either be diffused, or "bounced"... So since my bedroom is solely white walls, and white is one of the best reflectors... Point flashlight at wall, and it bounces of to the other walls, and voila... You have light... Now of course bigger room means you're gonna need a stronger flashlight... But it works... The clear light is made by the flashlight, and the "orange/yellow" light is coming from the living room, but it's not enforcing the light in my bedroom that much, when lights in the living room is off, bedroom still looks pretty much like this... 

And that's how you avoid "monsters under the bed" when you forget to buy a new bulb...  

An old smell i haven't smelled since far to long ago...

Now many of you don't know this bottle... But you can probably guess what it's used for... 

It's a fix for photographers. We mix it with coffee and put it into syringes... NO. It is a fixer... For analogue photography... It's step 3 of 4 for development of B/W negatives and B/W papers... And it smells a lot... Get it on your fingers and they're gonna smell of vinegar the rest of the evening...

And i love that smell... It tells me that i've been working, and not sitting on my ass doing nothing.

The whole wonder of working for Niels in PhotoCare Nexø, is that he lets me borrow stuff, and use his studio, and darkroom. And since i've gotten a key for the store i can take pictures during daytime, and develop at nighttime...

And when an old friend of mine, is sitting somewhere in Århus, making some funny ass radio over the internet... Everything just gets funnier, and better... You people should actually try listening sometime... Don't know when next time's gonna be but he has a Facebook page: Radio Replay... Funny shit... But a fair warning if you like Rock as much as i do... They will play it... But soften it up afterwards with some "TV2" or "Birthe Kjær"...

mmm

Now back to the good part... I developed 2 "films"... But do to a "Jonas" error there was nothing on one of them, and only 5 pictures on the other (5 perfectly exposed pictures ;) )... You see when working with exchangeable backs, you have to remove a little silver plate before you take a picture... Of course i forgot... And i was even stupid enough to use some kind of "override can't shoot when plate in" button... Well one more lesson learned... Now next time it's gonna be perfect...

But i'm planning something big, which i'm gonna unveil sometime soon hopefully... At least now i'm trying to make deals, and other things... Might wanna stay tuned... 

See this guy also tells you to hold on... He even asks if you can feel it? 

So lets see the house then...

I've told stories about this house to some of you... Told you how big the spiders are... How many bugs, and how old it is... Well now i've finally eliminated all the problems in the house... So i'm ready to take you for a tour now...

Lets start with an overview of the property... Yes... I brought my car with me to Bornholm... Of course... I'm not going on an adventure without my faithful car... 

Now... That's the gate to my house... Very important to have one of those when living in the city... Why? I don't know... I'm a farmer boy... Not a city person... But very important.

I also got garden furniture... Quite nice when living on the sunshine island.

A non working fire place... Could i fix it... I actually don't know... But there's a Weber grill in the tool shed... So i'll manage 

A KITCHEN DOOR! Don't know why i think it's awesome. After all it's not isolated... At all.

So when winter comes... But for now quite awesome... And filled with spiders... 

Tool shed, woodshed, and a shed with extra beds...

Lets take a closer look...

That's the sleeping "shed"... Now i don't use that... Mostly because it haven't been used for a loong time... And also because i hate walking outside every morning, or every time i have to pee... And well... There's one bedroom inside the house... Just enough for little me ;)

A tool shed... Now do i know how to use one of these fabled tool sheds... Of course i'm from Jutland... And i actually mowed the lawn last weekend... So now i've got the prettiest lawn on Bornholm... (That is part of the adventure... Keeping the house nice.)

fwafwa

My wood shed... Aka "what once was some kind of "medieval" toilet, but now a wood shed"... Again millions of spiders... Lucky i'm not suffering from arachnophobia. Because sometimes i think Snogebæk is like the place in all Denmark where all spiders go every summer... Like tourists... Spider tourists... No, i'm not smoking weed right now... Haven't gotten any ;)

Now just look at that lawn... Oh god, i sound like an old man... Imagine me in 40 years... (Old rusty old man voice) Noooow my son, when iii was a young man, i moved to Bornholm for 6 months... And during that period i always kept a nice lawn... So you just go out there and mow the lawn, while i sit here with my newspaper, smoking some pipe, and drinking a glass of old expensive scotch (whiskey)." Yeep... Fighting to be a rich successful photographer...

 

  

My cosy little living room... And my "me spot" in front of the TV... (Nothing has changed there... Still a cosy head). 

The kitchen... A land of many mysteries... As you may notice, no dishwasher... All old school dishwashing by hand... Has it's downsides, when you have one of those days where you don't have the time after breakfast, and after diner... So it just grows, and grows... Some days.

My bedroom... Not much to say about that... Except that Bruce is always guarding it... Now apparently i caught him sleeping on duty, hiding under my iPad... 

And the bathroom... Now only have 5 minutes of hot water when showering... So i can't take my 30 minute showers anymore :(...

That conclude our tour of my little house, now as you can see it's not much, but it's home...

And by the way, if you should be thinking: "Bornholm... Never been there... I wanna go there..." Then you're more than welcome to call, or write... I will happily let you crash in my little house... Just one rule... The Bedroom is MINE! Bruce is guarding it ;)  

 

 

Operation "get off your ass and take some pictures"...

Yeah... I've been sitting on my ass too long... Settling down, but i now feel i'm ready, i know the island, i got ideas... And i'm working on something that for me in my current situation is quite big... But i don't know if it's gonna be possible... But if it is, i'm gonna give myself the kick in the ass i need right now... If i can pull this one off well it's all on me... 
Now i'm gonna be a real prick, and don't tell you what it is... But i can tell you i've been buying lots of 120 films both color and REAL B/W... And i've borrowed this from my boss

The Mamiya RZ67 with film backs 

Yes, a real middle format, i figured i wanted to use the big viewfinder to try something i haven't done that much of before... It weighs around 2-3 kilo... Now for a "gadget freak" like me it's like heaven... But since it's not my camera, i'm guarding it with my life... NO chances... If i wanted to take chances, would have borrowed a Canon camera ;) 

Now well, things are going pretty well for me now, joined a club for young Christians... Yup, i am a believer... And if you didn't know that about me... Well then it's because you don't know me that well... I pray before eating, and before i sleep, been doing that pretty much since i could talk... 

So i know some people is gonna be like i didn't know that... Don't worry people, i'm keeping it pretty much to myself normally... Don't see why people need to know, they might judge me wrong... So nobody freak... I'm still the same Jonas, and i always will be... With a camera in my hand, and my family and friends in my heart... I seek to change the world... 

ONE PICTURE AT A TIME... 

-Or a dusin in "continious high" mode ;P

  

The tourist Warning system...

A car door, car interior, and a "leather" (skin) jacket... Now how can that be a warning system... Well, you see it's actually quite simple... I'm SO tired of tourists just walking out in the middle of the road without warning, when i'm busy... So i thought... "Must be because they can't hear me... Should i drive around honking the horn all the time?... No... Don't wanna scare the tourists away from the island..." So i figured... If i turned up the volume on the radio... Rolled down the window... Then they'd have to be able to hear me! 

And what about the leather jacket? I wear that all the time... Outside... Not inside in my little house no... But also when people hear me, they might turn around... And then the jacket should work as an: "OMG he's a really badass... Let's get out of the way before he hits us... Look at the front of his car... He's hit someone before..." (Old accident... Haven't run anybody over... Yet...) 

But the tourists on the road is actually a plague over here... They act like they own the place... Like it's all one big camping spot where you can cross the road anytime without looking for cars... BUT IT'S A GODDAMN ISLAND WITH CITIES WHERE CARS DRIVE 50 KILOMETERS AN HOUR... (i'm not used to live in a tourist city... I need my space on the road;) )... 

Warning system actually kinda works... Most people are looking... And more and more are moving away from the road... And it has a benefit... I get to listen to loud awesome music... Like my James Bond CD (yeah... I'm a Bond fan... Not as big as i once was... But still a fan...) Imagining i'm some sort of secret agent... And my car is an Aston Martin... It sometimes takes the "pedal" a little closer to the "metal"... But that's all right... Sometimes you just need to live your life... And just let go... "There's no point of living... If you can't feel alive" Robert Carlyle (Renard) - in the movie: "The world is not enough"... YES... A James bond quote!  Or... More like a James Bond Villain quote... But still! 

About Analouge photography...

Analouge photography is an AMAZING world to enter... Yes, yes... Photography itself is an amazing world itself... But for a guy like me who's experimenting with the techniques and story telling... Well then the analogue photography is like a play ground... And i'm the little kid who wants play with all the toys... 

Why am i writing about analouge photography? Well i stumbled upon this link today: 
So You Want to Shoot Film - Peta Pixel

It's a great starting tutorial... But i have some corrections to it...

Correction number: 1

When "agitating" your film you can do it like he does... But you don't have to be careful and all that... I'm always brutal, using development of pictures as an exercise... No harm has ever happened to my negatives... 

Correction number: 2

You don't have to be "on time" when changing chemicals... I always take it nice and quietly... 

Correction number: 3

If you use the Kodak HC-110 developer like i do... You can pour the chemicals you've mixed back into the "mixed container"... DO NOT MIX WITH THE CONCENTRATED CHEMICALS... It'll ruin the concentrated chemicals... and they are VERY EXPENSIVE...
But the developer doesn't "die" like he says in the video... It gets weaker... But you can use it... around 10 times... Just remember it needs to be changed around once every 3. week... Because it also weakens over time...

Think that was all the corrections...

Analouge as art...

Yes analogue is mostly for art photography now... And almost all we hear about is 35mm film, medium format, large format, and old negatives... And that's all very nice... But the real interesting techniques is techniques like these...

Liquid emulsion...

I've been rambling about this technique a LOT to my friends... Every time someone just mentions analogue i'm like: "Uh, UH, UH! You know what you should try? Liquid emulsion..." And they're always asking: "What's that?" And then hell breaks loose... I start one of my famous long explanations... Starts something like this: "You don't know what liquid emulsion is? (Sigh)... Okay... Well years, and years ago..." And then it just goes on...

Here's the short version... 

Basically it's a process where you make your own paper by "painting" The light sensitive material onto whatever surface you want to develop on... A table, a cat (cannot recommend that one) ceramics, a book, a wall, hell... I even once heard a story of a guy who took a picture of him driving naked, and used liquid emulsion technique to develop the picture on his car door... 

I did'nt make this, or anything... 

Inspiration... Look at this: http://www.rayknoxphotography.com/gallery_130492.html#photos_id=3407832

Or this:

http://www.emilschildt.com/EMULSIONER.htm

"But Jonas you've made a lot of liquid emulsion before... We want to see your pictures... We want to see if you really know how to do it..." Well dear readers... I only have one liquid emulsion picture (as far as i can remember) that i've posted on the internet... And as of right now i can't access my flickr account (don't know why)... But yeah one (maybe more) on the internet... The rest hanging on the walls of my mothers house... Why? Well i don't like what happens to my pictures when i scan or photograph them... 

Cyanotype...

Cyanotype is the same principal as liquid emulsion... Just easier... You paint the photographic material on a surface of your choosing... But the chemicals are different... Slower... And your picture turns blue... And can be toned with tea, vine, coffee, anything without sugar... But the most amazing thing about this process... 

When you've painted the material on your surface... You make a negative the size of the picture you want... And then you press that negative and whatever you've painted on together with a glass plate... And put it out into the sun for some time... Yes an analogue development technique which requires sunlight... 

And there are so many more techniques... 

I could go on... And on... But as an end thing... Try searching for the "bromoil" technique on google... You develop the picture like a normal liquid emulsion picture... But after you've made a perfect picture... You "bleach" it... And use special oil painting to bring back the picture... But now it's gonna look like a mix between a painting and a photo... (Looks mostly like a photo of course... But it's still an amazing process...) 

Yes i'm soon going back into the darkroom... Have an idea about mixing some analogue with some digital...  

  

Operation "Trash can"...

When on an epic adventure...

ALWAYS MAKE SURE THE TRASH IN THE TRASH CAN GETS REMOVED BEFORE TURNING INTO SOME BIOLOGICAL RESERVE...

Why... Well let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there was this "adventurous photographer..." Let's call him Jonas... Now Jonas had on his adventure had to move a lot... He was going to stay at this fairytale house... But due to somethings he already knew about... He started by living there one week... Leaving the trash to the "newcomers"... Because he thought that the trash collectors would take it away... And also nobody had told him where to dump it... 

He lived happily the new place... Not knowing that the "new comers" just kept pouring trash into the trash can... And no trash collectors came for it... 

When coming home... Jonas noticed the trash can was full... And asked his boss what to do with it, since it was his house... ANd he said: "The trash collectors will take care of that..." So Jonas kept on working hard and with a smile... Until he'd been waiting long enough (1 extra week)... Now the trash can had not been emptied for one month... And Jonas then asked again: "What shall i do with the trash..." And the Boss answered: "Didn't the trash collectors take care of that?" Jonas said no... And the boss said: "I don't understand they should have... But there is this place close to where your house is, where you can dump the trash..." And so Jonas was going to... But he became lazy... And let the trash can stay for 3 more days... 

Until he finally one day decided... Now's the day... But the trash can had gone rotten and filled with bugs and maggots (Not kidding!!!)... And Jonas had to put the trash "bag" (take it out of the can and it's only a bag...) into his beautiful caret... So he took another bag to put over... But oh no! Some kind of rotten stinky fluid was coming out of the bottom of the bag... Only reasonable thing to do... Put another bag on the bottom... That made a very unstable construction... That almost cracked in two like the "Titanic"... And tore a hole in the 2 bottom bags... Jonas put the bag on some campfire thingey outside his house... He had to come up with a new plan... But then he felt something on his feet... Felt like a snaked... One thought quickly entered Jonas's head... "THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE TRASH... AND IT'S CRAWLING ON YOU PANIC!!" And he started jumping and screaming... Only to find out that it was rotten fluid spilling onto his shoes... And shorts... Now he was pissed and smelled like garbage... And since it was already halfway split in 2... Jonas decided to split the garbage in 2... And use an extra bag on each... And he did that... And put both bags into his caret... And drove the caret stinking to the garbage dump spot... 

Only to go back and clean his shoes and shorts... Without a washing machine it looked like this:

Gotta use whatever methods you can... To survive... And smell nice

Now Jonas checks the trash can every week... No more "operation stinky trash can"... Nope... Going for operation: "Nice and not smelly trash can"

To be continued... but just without anymore stories of trash ;)
 

The battle of the dogs...

On my adventure i've met many obstacles... The biggest came from home... Now i've written a little about it before... But now the "war" is over... And both my family and i lost two dogs... (They're not dead... But we had to get them removed)... We still got 1 dog... Our most faithful and quiet dog a mixed race dog called Bailey... Worlds nicest dog... He means the world for me... I've cried by his side, i've laughed by his side... He means everything to me!

But 2 dogs gone, wasn't happy about it... But then again, just talked to my mom for a long time trying to understand the crazy neighbor who's been complaining and threatening her... And she told me that after the first complaint... Someone had taken some bricks laying out in front of our fence and thrown them into our drive in... Where we let our dogs run when we're not home... Uh and there's stories about him harassing other dogs in the local community... Yep... I'm pissed... 

2 dogs lost... NOT LOOSING THE BEST DOG I'VE EVER HAD!

Hoping that i haven't bored who ever's reading my blog... But i had to get it out of my system... It's been nagging me... Stolen my focus on the job and everything... But it's over now... No more threats against my mom (That also pisses me off)... And no more complaint about dogs!


Happy again :)... And to do like regional news in Denmark... I'm gonna end this post with something happy... A movie called: "La vita è bella" ("Life is  beautiful")