All week i've been a nerve wreck... New print packing software wasn't configured, and we're in the middle of school photography season... Now if anybody says it's easy to do school photography... I'm gonna kill you... Slowly...
Because of that, i've had to set other projects on pause...
Most people say i work too hard... But when i get an assignment... I really want to be the best... I'm afraid that i'm not good enough, and i really want to show the world that i'm what i say i am... I fear people think i'm lying... I wan't challenges, but i fear if i screw up people wont trust me when i say I can...
I want to be the best so bad, that i'm hurting myself sometimes... I fear yelling, and people being disappointed with me... Sometimes i focus so much on not being a "screw up", that i become clumsy... I seek recognition... But when i get it... I sometimes end up thinking i'm better than i am... Life is so tough sometimes... I gotta figure this one out sometime...
But this is why i'm working overtime not getting paid, this is why i push myself to the limit... I want the impossible... I want to create the one picture that changes the world... The one that ends all misery... The one that ends all wars... BUT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE... IT CAN'T BE DONE!! But still... I have to try...
I'm poision to myself sometimes... But then again, aren't we all sometimes?
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